How old do you have to be to claim that you're senile?
I mean, I have always been a grumpy sort of person, but lately I have been mega crotchety.
For instance, every Saturday morning Mindy and I get up early to go to the Farmer's Market. And every Saturday I get a biscuit from the same food truck. A couple of weeks ago, their stupid fucking oven was broken and I didn't get a biscuit. It ruined my life.
"Oh yeah, standing in the middle of the fucking sidewalk is a brilliant idea"
"Just carry your damn kid. For fuck's sake your stupid fucking stroller is taking up the whole aisle"
"Did you see that guy's fucking shoes? They looked awful."
"That bitch is ugly"
"I don't know why, but I hate that kid"
"It's a sideWALK. What's so hard to understand about that? "
All of these are quotes from me that day. Mindy laughed at me the whole time and shhed me several times, but my rage was justified.
The other day one of my coworkers told me they just couldn't wait to see how cranky I would be when I was fifty. I can't help it that the inability of most people to act with any sort of common decency makes me cranky.
Things I hate right now: Manpris, George Clinton, children in matching clothes, when people talk about their 'zen', the teenage boys in my neighborhood that don't wear shirts, the teenage boys in my neighborhood that do wear shirts, people on bicycles, people who complain about the smoke in a smoking bar, the color orange, guys that call each other 'dude' 'man' or 'bro,' reggae, anything tie-dyed, people who take their kids to any sort of bar, people who think my basset hound is a dachsund....
Does anyone know where I can buy a cane?
I mean, I have always been a grumpy sort of person, but lately I have been mega crotchety.
For instance, every Saturday morning Mindy and I get up early to go to the Farmer's Market. And every Saturday I get a biscuit from the same food truck. A couple of weeks ago, their stupid fucking oven was broken and I didn't get a biscuit. It ruined my life.
"Oh yeah, standing in the middle of the fucking sidewalk is a brilliant idea"
"Just carry your damn kid. For fuck's sake your stupid fucking stroller is taking up the whole aisle"
"Did you see that guy's fucking shoes? They looked awful."
"That bitch is ugly"
"I don't know why, but I hate that kid"
"It's a sideWALK. What's so hard to understand about that? "
All of these are quotes from me that day. Mindy laughed at me the whole time and shhed me several times, but my rage was justified.
The other day one of my coworkers told me they just couldn't wait to see how cranky I would be when I was fifty. I can't help it that the inability of most people to act with any sort of common decency makes me cranky.
Things I hate right now: Manpris, George Clinton, children in matching clothes, when people talk about their 'zen', the teenage boys in my neighborhood that don't wear shirts, the teenage boys in my neighborhood that do wear shirts, people on bicycles, people who complain about the smoke in a smoking bar, the color orange, guys that call each other 'dude' 'man' or 'bro,' reggae, anything tie-dyed, people who take their kids to any sort of bar, people who think my basset hound is a dachsund....
Does anyone know where I can buy a cane?
