Threatening Butt Sex

Almost every weekend, I have to kick at least one person out of my bar. Most of these are easy and the people are ashamed of themselves for acting stupid. And then there are the other times when they want to make an even bigger ass of themselves. I really can't help but laugh at these people.

There was the guy who called my door guy, Zak, a 'dancing bear' in a very derogatory fashion. This made no sense to me because, obviously, dancing bears are awesome.

Oh and then there was the lovely neanderthal that kept calling me a 'homosexual' as I was escorting him to the door. And, no, I am not using 'homosexual' in place of some crude term. That is really what he was calling me. This one also accused me of being sexist and told me he would be suing the bar.

One of my favorites happened this past Saturday. I had to kick out a guy that I knew was unstable. I knew he would escalate the situation. I didn't expect the exact way he threatened Zak. There was the usual "I'm going to beat the shit out of you" and whatnot. When he was finally out the front door, he told Zak to come outside so he could "fuck him in the ass right there." I pretty much laughed about it the rest of the night.

Have you ever seen any good bar kick outs?